Pity Excuse

I could easily type in my mile long excuse for not keeping my word. Oct-18 too have passed away from me. Keeping my word have become so difficult and the funniest part I keep changing my plans. Today...Tomorrow...the last minute. I keep my task pending until I reach a stage were I cannot even think of doing it. This is the time when I seek reasons to justify my behaviour. A pity excuse of not doing things that you had to do.

Time waits for none. It just flies past you leaving a trail of memories and I am now left with guilt, anger upon my own laziness.What else could you think of right now other than the Pink Floyd track.........."Time".

Ticking away the moments 
That make up a dull day 
Fritter and waste the hours 
In an off-hand way 

Kicking around on a piece of ground 
In your home town 
Waiting for someone or something 
To show you the way 

Tired of lying in the sunshine 
Staying home to watch the rain 
You are young and life is long 
And there is time to kill today 

And then the one day you find 
Ten years have got behind you 
No one told you when to run 
You missed the starting gun 

And you run and you run 
To catch up with the sun 
But it's sinking 

Racing around 
To come up behind you again 

The sun is the same 
In a relative way 
But you're older 

Shorter of breath 
And one day closer to death 

Every year is getting shorter 
Never seem to find the time 

Plans that either come to naught 
Or half a page of scribbled lines 

Hanging on in quiet desperation 
Is the English way 

The time is gone 
The song is over 
Thought I'd something more to say 

Home 
Home again 
I like to be here 
When I can 

When I come home 
Cold and tired 
It's good to warm my bones 
Beside the fire 

Far away 
Across the field 
Tolling on the iron bell 
Calls the faithful to their knees 
To hear the softly spoken magic spell...

"Neram"-I am missing it every single minute

"Neram" which means in Malayalam TIME. I have started missing things like never before. The clock ticks by me; but I never bother. I find ways to kill time say it at office or at home. Laziness with an extra bit of dreaming on the annual leave; I am never up to date with anything. Why I am speaking on my mile long laziness on a Sunday morning. The reason is I have made my promise of posting the trip plan on Aug-18 and I swore that I wont be  calling my co-rider the one and only "Rahul Nair" until and unless I complete my blog. The vice versa could have happened yesterday.

I knew my never ending laziness is getting hold on everything I do. But I really wanted to speak to him. I called him yesterday to tell stories which would not make him point and portray me as a lazy shit breaking promises. I am lucky enough he didn't pick my call. May be its the great guiding spirits in and among us brought back the good fortune. Still the promises are valid. If promises couldn't be kept before the trip; how would we travel together for miles long. Such things should never happen.

Rahul: You too haven't kept your promise. Remember Aug-18. Time has flown from us and we stay in the month end of September. I really want you to complete your post by coming Oct-18. Make plans, route map and don't ever have questions on my arrival. Everything will be perfectly happening. Believe. Complete your task so that we could start up again with our never ending conversation.

To myself: Oct-18 my dear. FULL STOP to your LAZINESS!!!

Mile Long Laziness

I wanted to write this post feeling a few weeks back where the promise of Aug-18 was shattered. We were supposed to create a route map for our whole trip and then post it in here. Neither did I nor he. Being talkative doesn't do the job I realize. When you stick on to targets for what was in our case the day of Aug-18; we couldn't achieve. If this is the case for a short trip; how do can we plan to achieve the bigger one. Really bad I know.

I have decided not to speak and do bla bla bla on this with Rahul Nair until and unless I complete my task. 

Change of Plan

As expected and anticipated; what is life without a detour. It doesn't mean you sacrifice your dreams all of a sudden. It gives a chance to plan things properly; that's what I believe. Now the timeline available to us is a mere 14-days. That's the only leave my buddy Rahul has got for the year 2013. I felt actually sad when he said that. But things are getting much more serious than expected. We have dropped the plan of riding along on a motorcycle to the destination we choose. We will be on foot. Awesome. But our love of the motorcycle will be cut down to a weekend which we will plan to go to a hill station probably Munnar or Vagamon. Only to be decided on my arrival. Remember the "big ride" will be pending still.

Coming back to the 14day story. We have both agreed to choose a destination of our on choice. To be specific. Any state in India and plan a route to visit the maximum places in this time frame. OOphhhh. I am nervous now. I can feel the cold wind from the Himalayas freezing me from outside....Kashmir was the immediate choice from Rahul. Now I have to find mine. The D-Day available to post the route map, expenditures and proper time-lining is Aug-18 Sunday. He may have started working out but I am still puzzled with a destination that could beat the breath taking beauty of Kasmir. Tough task...But I am not gonna give up. Fingers crossed...Thrilled...Excited!!!

Money Could Buy You Happiness

I see big smiles on business tycoons rather than on others like myself and the so called class of people who are striving for daily bread or trying to tie a knot to their double lives. A commoner has limited access to all the luxuries of life. Is it wise to be live and die as a commoner or rather than enjoy the pleasures of life??? I really have a thought that money can definitely bring you happiness; much better smiles I guess. I am still to find the truth.

To not dramatize things which is my usual style of jotting; let me come straight to the point. My wallet is empty the second day my salary has been credited. I am trying to imitate my managers who are earning 20 times more than my salary. I am trying to be in their shoes. May be I am wrong. But I still feel happy when I see I am using the same things that they are using even when I am losing all the penny I earned for the month. What-more...swiping credit cards to maintain the cash flow. 

Suddenly I have started feeling I am underestimating things. Unless you be in their shoes how would you understand what it would really feel. I believe my senses. I am doing it right. Now things around me should change. I should ask for a salary hike. Improve my skills of talking business to business men. I should see myself achieving things rather than sitting at the office desk doing the job of a very normal person. 

Things that are in the to do list which are closing down at me....

1)Building up my machine 

2)Gifting my sis a BMW on her marriage.

3)A "Neelanoor Business" firm dedicated for my father.

4)Marring a beautiful person who can be called a real women. Riding on a Harley with her on the day after marriage.

5)Of course...Kids.1, 2 , 3 or even more. 

6)Owning a 4*4. A real beast!!!

7)Starting up a business firm for myself. Haven't figured whether it should be software or a general contracting firm. Let time give me the answers.

8)Buying a farm house and enjoying good times with your family. Of course it will have a vineyard.

I do not know how many of these get a check mark as done. But where am I going to squeeze in the all India trip. It wouldn't happen this time I am damn sure. But rather I am having ideas of a smaller trip this time which would give the moral boost for the bigger one. Lets see...Dreamer again!!!

Learning Curve

What does it take to be an achiever???
Just gazing around the streets                                                                                               

A Tom and Jerry Thing

The thought of achieving the heights of success is slowly been covered with a layer of laziness from my own ways of finding reasons not to do things. I am just being ordinary seeing the way people around me and its all just a Tom and Jerry thing around me. Why to blame them??? I too have been slowly drifted imitating the behaviour of Jerry. I find reasons to hide up from problems which I think I am too good to deal. In the end, I find myself doing nothing rather than being at the comfort levels of job.

I badly regret what I am doing and I really want to get out of this. I do fear if I would think of finding reasons to skip this trip. Nothing would happen; I pat myself murmuring...."It time for a new renaissance of thoughts and actions"

Rush of Moral Boost

It has been quite a long time I received so much of what is called the moral boost. Pumped in and out with a trillion tones of guidance. You can....if you cant then who else. I feel ashamed when the people around me has the confidence in me; why am I not realizing. Or is it all flattery which I fall within which makes me more and more lazy. The father of laziness is what I am sometimes. Just some habits that grows up with an individual. All my dreams seam to be very far. Even this trip when my co-rider told me " Hey dude I cant even think of riding from Cochin to Kottayam now". Everything is shattering into pieces beside me.

When ever I had times of so called deep feelings of failures; I have had always someone to inject the adrenaline. During my school days it was Sr. Salimma our school principal. Mom off course and all the way I had someone. Friends and even watching a good movie all were all sources of moral boost.

But all of a sudden I started receiving  it at work space. Is it because of the charm i put in front of them??? But true...I am being loaded with advises each and everyday. Nirmal you could be this that there...........Come on its from your director and chairman at your office. Work harder... Don't be someone who just leaves office at 5:00PM. Do something if you really want to be something.

The next thing....I have always hated reading books. A new level of insanity has just peeped in me. All of a sudden I am just being addicted to reading. I cant believe that I paid for the books I just bought. "The Alchemist" "The Catalsyt". With addition of the book which was gifted to me by my cousin..."The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari". Damn......Damn it!!! Who am I. What am i trying to be. Or am I just acting smart. Or am I just trying to put off a cheap show in-front off my roommates. I never want that to be even in my thought.

I really need to count or hunt down my time ahead. So much to achieve. So many miles to cover. I should see that every dream of mine comes true. Let me quote something from the book I started reading...."When you want something in life; all the universe conspires you in achieving it". I want everything I wished and let all the universe help me achieve. Cheers and a Hi-five Mr. Nirmal Kurian!!!

Thought of Building Up My Machine

Leaning back from the office chair with a light yawn, the distant dream of a holiday at your home suddenly are in my nerves. Within a fraction of a second, I travelled the never ending mountain ranges covering the tea and cardamom estates with the warmth from the jacket I wore. What else could a bikers dream be. All of a sudden I realize the trip which I lost all in the way. Never wanted that to happen and its these memories that give wings for your dreams. All these dreams need the support of money. I should start saving at least from this month, rather than being penniless. I should also start observing different custom-made models to get the best on to my machine. Lots of Plans.......Lots of Thinking...............and Lots to Save!!!

Detour

Detour it is....Sometimes the decision that you take gives you the confidence to achieve things you have been dreaming all these years. Something new which was always in mind. Learning a new language. If Mark Zucker could learn Chineese why not Nirmal Kurian learn Arabic. As it is said, learning a new language can spark your dull brain with adrenaline, this is what life is. Challenging the impossible...BOOOOOOM. Deviating from the usual path to enter the detour.

Wavering Ambitions

Sometimes I wish to be a DON, sometimes a GUN-RUNNER. All of a sudden my thoughts change again. Be a CEO of a Telecom Company or why not a SOFTWARE firm of my own. Or what if I tried my fathers given up BUSINESS in the land of spices. I am everywhere to be found. From the dirtiest to the most stylist jobs on the planet. Is this wavering ambitions causing me to fluctuate in what ever I do??? Every single thought I am not achieving any of this gives me that ache which I can explain to none.

But there is one ambition more or like a dream which myself and Rahul planned. The only one right in front of me which I believe we would achieve. Damn.......This is happiness in a land of distress. Boom Boom Boom. 

Losing Nirmal Kurian on the Way.....!!!

I am not that Nirmal Kurian who had the dream of achieving everything under sky. The sky was the limit for everyone, but there is where I began. I had that bad instinct of creating simplicity in everything. Starting from my last minute studies for exam to running after the last bus to college to getting things done perfectly at the last moment. True ....I had that awesome talent which I miss these days. Now I have turned up to a lazy chunk of mass, good for nothing type. I no longer can dream.

I wish I had them back. My senses of creating everything possible. I wish to be that Nirmal Kurian who had that childishness in everything he did. I wish to get back the realm of senses back in a few days.

In love with myself more and more......!!!

Money...Money....Money

What ever people say of money; it is the most valuable thing that exist. A piece of paper whose thirst often results in devastating outcomes.
Why am I writing all this in a travelogue and that too from the office desk sharp at 8:00am???
A motorcycle trip would require quite a lot of money than the words I blot. Hell a lot of money. That means I need to put an effort that would definitely earn me some additional piece of paper. The laziness beginning from the morning alarm has to be put an end to.

As the saying, Be the change you wish to see in the WORLD. That's a new ME from today!!!